4 tools to help you navigate and get what you want in life
Everything we perceive our mind organises into 2 categories: useful or unuseful. It’s an important skill to be able to distinguish between the two, to make sure you’re not wasting your valuable time and energy. Unuseful things are obstacles or things that get in our way and useful things are tools that we can utilize to get what we want.
Clinical psychologist, Jordan Peterson, in his book ‘12 Rules for Life’ explains that when we look at an object or person, we assume that we see an object, instead we directly perceive its meaning and its functional utility. He continues:
our evolved perceptual systems transform the interconnected, complex multi-level world that we inhabit not so much into things but as useful or unuseful things
When we look at objects or things, our mind collects that data and will either utilize it as a tool or discard it as an obstacle. We make this decision based on what we focus on and the meaning we attach to it. Tools and obstacles come in all shapes, sizes, forms and uses; from our thoughts, feelings and beliefs, advice and opinions received from friends, family and peers, money, and even social media. Each of these can be put into either category, tool or obstacle, again based on what you choose to focus on and the meaning you attach to it.
What I have found interesting is: how one person’s tool can be another person’s obstacle and one person’s obstacle can be another person’s tool. Everyday we interact with objects and people and we categorise it as either a tool or obstacle. It’s important to be aware of this because it will contribute massively to getting what you want in life. We all have goals, missions, tasks and projects and if we aim correctly we’ll get the result or outcome we desire to get the things we want.
So what are some useful tools that effectively help us navigate through life and what are some obstacles we want to avoid? After consuming various books, videos and online courses I've decided to put together a small list:
- Be radically open minded. In his hugely successful book ‘Principles’ Ray Dalio says that the biggest barriers to making good decisions is your ego and your blind spots. This is because human beings have a bias to an already formulated conclusion in their minds when making decisions. If you can recognise that you have blind-spots or ways of doing or seeing things that are not effective, and you can be radically open minded to others opinions that they can offer something better, you have a far better chance of making a better decision and getting what you want.
2. Avoid black or white conclusions. In one of his online courses ‘The 67 Steps’, Tai Lopez, explains that it can be easy to fall into the trap of believing your way of doing something is the ‘right’ when making decisions. He explains that you have to have the adaptability to let go of beliefs and opinions from time to time because the world is constantly changing and the key is to be adaptable and changeable. According to Megginson who studied Charles Darwin's Origin of Species
it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest that survives; but the species that survives is the one that is able best to adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.
3. Understand there’s three sides to every coin (heads, tails and the edge). I read ‘Rich Dad Poor Dad’ years ago and remember this stood out to me. Basically, our desire listen to and our ability to understand opposing points of view is a valuable and crucial skill.
4. Seek out experts and separate opinion from advice. I discovered years ago that everyone has an opinion and so they should because it’s your right for freedom of speech. Problem is it’s a noisy world and everyone’s a critic and everyone’s an expert. 99/100 people will give you their opinion but only 1/100 people should be listened to as advice. It’s your responsibility to know how to separate the two so you can make an informed decision. You can separate advice with opinion as follows:
a) experience: less than 1 year is opinion, more than 1 year is advice, more than 5 years is expert advice.
b) skill: less than 1 year is opinion, more than 1 year is advice, more than 5 years is expert advice.
c) your best interests at heart: they guide and help you to choices around your best interests, not theirs.
Leave a comment down below of some useful tools and useless obstacles that you’ve encountered in your life or some books and lessons you’ve learnt from your favourite mentors.
